Thursday, March 24, 2005
*ahem* *ahem* *ahem* *ahem* *testing 123*
ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls,
today, it is indeed my greatest honour to share with you my encounter with 'stupidity'. it all happened on the 22nd day of march. the year was 2005. like all days, the day began when the glorious sun rose from the east. flowers bloomed and birds chirped to the tune of 'who killed cocky robin'. however, unlike all days, it was a morning where i felt unusually helpful. little did i know that eight precious little wiggly squiggly innocent lives were at stake. after my daily dose of bread and milo, i headed out to my garden, in hope of trying to do my eight little goldfish a favour. all of a sudden, the earth shook violently and as sudden as the earth trembled, there was a bright light above me. my maid said that it was a halo, and i totally believed her. then i asked her to help me catch the fishes. You see, I’m scared of fishes, especially when they’re alive. Next, we took out ALL the water from the pot, and this is when ‘stupidity’ came along. We started filling the pot with water from the hose till it was about half full. Or is it half empty? Anyway, we then poured the fishes back in.
half an hour later, I returned to see how the fishes were coping in their cleaner environment. That was when I noticed one of the fish’s stomach was bloated, and it didn’t seem to be moving. Soon, a couple of the other fishes were becoming bloated as well, and like the first fish, they became motionless. Darn, I thought to myself. So I used the spout of the watering can from Ikea to touch them. If they were alive and well, they’d swim away. However, they didn’t. okay, I thought might be they were sleeping, so I left them alone. although some part of me half suspected that they were dead, I still left them alone. Now I was getting real scared. As I mentioned earlier, I was messing with eight dear little lives.
*ahem* *excuse me* *some saliva in my throat*
After lunch, I came back and to my horror, all the goldfish were floating. And like duh, they were all dead. shucks. So I decided to call in the police, and the coroner’s court classified it as unnatural death. Firstly, they couldn’t have drowned cos obviously they were fish, and secondly, there wasn’t like any sharks in the pot.
I sat in a corner, put on my thinking cap and reflected upon my actions. I realised I was the cause of their death. I killed them. Darn. Darn. Scientifically, it was due to the chlorine in the tap water that caused their death. So maybe I didn’t kill them after all. But since I was the one who put tap water into it, I killed them. Alright. So this is my brief encounter with stupidity. I sincerely hope you enjoyed it. Thank you.
*audience stands up*
*claps* *claps*
ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls,
today, it is indeed my greatest honour to share with you my encounter with 'stupidity'. it all happened on the 22nd day of march. the year was 2005. like all days, the day began when the glorious sun rose from the east. flowers bloomed and birds chirped to the tune of 'who killed cocky robin'. however, unlike all days, it was a morning where i felt unusually helpful. little did i know that eight precious little wiggly squiggly innocent lives were at stake. after my daily dose of bread and milo, i headed out to my garden, in hope of trying to do my eight little goldfish a favour. all of a sudden, the earth shook violently and as sudden as the earth trembled, there was a bright light above me. my maid said that it was a halo, and i totally believed her. then i asked her to help me catch the fishes. You see, I’m scared of fishes, especially when they’re alive. Next, we took out ALL the water from the pot, and this is when ‘stupidity’ came along. We started filling the pot with water from the hose till it was about half full. Or is it half empty? Anyway, we then poured the fishes back in.
half an hour later, I returned to see how the fishes were coping in their cleaner environment. That was when I noticed one of the fish’s stomach was bloated, and it didn’t seem to be moving. Soon, a couple of the other fishes were becoming bloated as well, and like the first fish, they became motionless. Darn, I thought to myself. So I used the spout of the watering can from Ikea to touch them. If they were alive and well, they’d swim away. However, they didn’t. okay, I thought might be they were sleeping, so I left them alone. although some part of me half suspected that they were dead, I still left them alone. Now I was getting real scared. As I mentioned earlier, I was messing with eight dear little lives.
*ahem* *excuse me* *some saliva in my throat*
After lunch, I came back and to my horror, all the goldfish were floating. And like duh, they were all dead. shucks. So I decided to call in the police, and the coroner’s court classified it as unnatural death. Firstly, they couldn’t have drowned cos obviously they were fish, and secondly, there wasn’t like any sharks in the pot.
I sat in a corner, put on my thinking cap and reflected upon my actions. I realised I was the cause of their death. I killed them. Darn. Darn. Scientifically, it was due to the chlorine in the tap water that caused their death. So maybe I didn’t kill them after all. But since I was the one who put tap water into it, I killed them. Alright. So this is my brief encounter with stupidity. I sincerely hope you enjoyed it. Thank you.
*audience stands up*
*claps* *claps*
TheServant
2:26 AM