i was so ashamed,all alone and so far away. but now i know that He's been waiting for this day..

i'm so bored. i have 5 hours of spare time today, after realising that the chemicals in the darkroom have run out. how stupid. tomorrow i'm coming at 9. bleah. actually was supposed to start creative thinking at 3 but since it's consultation week, my roup onl needs to go at 5. sigh. so sian and so unfair. cos they group us according to our surnames, my group is the last. how stupid. and guess what? my watch stopped! no wonder for so long the time stood still at 3:04. how stupid yet again. i only realised my watch stopped fter around forty five minutes. at least i'm still not late. the only happy thing about today is the free gifts. you see, there's a booth in school that organises name the new budget airport contest. you get a stuffed toy after filling in 7 forms, a note book and stationary set after 3 forms and a changi airport keychain with one form. so i filled in 7 forms and got two notebooks and stationary sets and a metal bookmark. yay!!! free gift galore! how i love them!! heh. maybe tomorrow if they're still around i'd get the soft toy. it's really cute. the shape of an aeroplane, with an alphabet sewn onto it. heh. but notebooks more practical. heh. someone's blasting hillsongs in the comp lab now. but i dunno what songs are they. new album i think. but they're no bad. besides some songs that sound quite weird. maybe cos it's the first time listening. okay. i have half an hour left. i'm quite happy that we dont have homework for marketing this week. if not we're all going to die. marketing's really very troublesome. okay. i'm off for now. bye! yawn!

TheServant

7:04 AM

i'm super super tired from sleeping very very late and waking up very very early everyday. couple with the fact that i take three buses to school makes me more tired. i really really hate waiting for buses. argh..

yesterday on the bus home i was so hungry until i felt giddy. as i was bored, i decided to read my story book. that made me feel even more sick. sometimes i have motion sickness. yesterday was one of the days. then because i didnt eat or drink the whole day, my lips were super dry and the skin started peeling. so i licked my lips to moisturise it so that it would not be so painful. suddenly this layer of skin peeles out and went into my mouth and i swallowed it. how gross. felt like puking. then i got super sick and felt like puking, and i wasnt even halfway through the journey yet. i couldnt puke cos i hadnt eaten anything since breakfast, and i was in a bus. super terrible. so i decided to sleep, in hope that it would cure giddyness and puking. unfortunately it didnt work. what shitty feeling. darn. furthermore, the bus was so smelly. the stench of people sweating, people's perfume and bo makes people want to puke even in normal circumstances. arrkkkkhhh..

today was better at least. thank God. this morning we had a vsc talk on subjects and the number of credit units that we must acquire so we can graduate on time. this is the first time we're having this fast system thing. it's a system where we get to choose the subjects that we want to take. we only have compulsory subjects in semester 1 and 2 i think, besides national education and apel, and the various projects. the rest is up to us to plan and decide what we want to major in. however it must meet a certain number of credit units. so in a way it's both good and bad. the talk ended at eleven. but they said it would end at 12. it doesnt really matter anyway cos i still had class at 3.

so eva denice and i decided to go to the vsc studio to do our work. first time going in there, besides during the orientation. after awhile a group of people came in and made a lot of noise, which is normal. they took the seats from the sofas from outside into the studio to lay on the floor so that they could sleep. and i dunno where they went, but came back with a few bean bags and some large cushions. hahaa. but they didnt sleep in the end. suddenly the cleaner auntie and scolded all of them cos the bean bags that they took had holes in them and the styrofoam bits would all come out. she was an angry old lady. but quite poor thing la. cos she had to take them back herself finally. then someone initiated the idea of playing dunno what traffic police and train/car. it's like thay all sit on the roller chairs, then form a whole row, like a train. then they're supposed to 'drive' out one round along the corridor outside the fifth floor. it was quite funny la. and quite fun. they came back and went to have lunch, so it was all quiet again.

when they came back, i dunno what they did. just some nonsense as usual. eva and i went for lunch. back at the studio, i suddenly turned my head towards my left and guess what i saw? i think they were kissing. because they put the matteress on the other side of the partition i could only see their legs. the girl was like on top of the guy and she wasnt wearing shoes. to hide their kissing, they put a big red cushiion on top of themselves. but i think it was quite obvious cos the the pillow was moving. anyway it didnt come as a surprise to me cos recently i've heard of girls kissing in the typo labs and in the studio. and the guys were taking pics!!??!?!?!! dunno how true also.

after awhile, eva and i decided to go to the comp lab. not that we couldnt stand the sight whatsoever, but we really had to leave. heh. it's good to make full use of the computers and free internet facilities. :) FREE is good!! soon we got bored cos no one was online so we talked to one another on msn despite the fact that we were sitting beside each other. heh. sigh..

what eventful two days.. heh. but i dont really wish that they would repeat again. i realised that design schoool people are quite childish. but who cares. who say's i'm not. hahaa. but of course i wont do stupid things la.

to you, i'm glad that things have got a little better after clarification. yup. good for you! no worries!!

okay. i better be off now. i'm tired. i need to sleep early today. bye for now!!

TheServant

11:42 AM

today i played for igc. it was noraml, rather uneventful in fact. i liked the marching drum beat for the second song that isaac played, and the bass and drum intro of the first song. quite funky. on the whole i enjoyed every single bit of today. had the rare opportunity to spend the afternoon talking to mel and sarah on a very personal level over lunch and at all other places we went and during all the things that we did. i really appreciate such heart to heart talks as sarah calls it, and quoting from sarah again, it was special and meaningful, yet loving. we got to know one another at a deeper level rather than just at the surface. got to know the issues in each of our lives and other things that we would never learn about in big group conversations. things that we like and things that we dont, or quirky habits of others. basically about everything under the sun/moon/stars/clouds. i call these kind of conversations friendship building conversations. i especially like discussing things that i dont understand the logic behind it. like de jevu, or the sixth sense. it's really nice to listen to other people's experiences with it and compare it to how similar it is with yours. on friday i was thinking about the two truths and one lie game that i played on my first week of school. then yesterday during cg, we played the same game. is there some kind of sixth sense behind it, or is it just pure coincidence? no one knows, so it's really fun to talk about it and get scared over it, or just laugh about it.

had chocolate ice kachang after lunch. it was my first time eating it. okay la.. i dont really regret eating it but i hoped for more chocolate. in fact i couldnt really taste chocolate. chocolate is good!! i think the chocolate facial mask is a waste of resources. i wonder if the person wearing the chocolate mask licks the chocolate at the area near her mouth. heh. chocolate is meant to be eaten. it can be smeared on bread, but definitely not on faces.

after ice kachang they came over. decided to watch the tamil show on vasantham central. it's a very old show i guess, since it's still in black and white. for the first time i was interest in this kind of shows. surprisingly it didnt have dancing. quite meaningful and nice. sad but yet humourous. and the ending was quite good.

alright.. before i go, i'd like to congratulate you two!!! wish you all the best! hahaa. bye!

TheServant

3:36 PM

i finally bought my much need paint brush. and it cost a freaking $4.75 for a size 7 brush! but at least it's of good quality and made in germany, with nice, soft and dense bristles. just a note: never buy cheap china brushes with black bristles. they're the lousiest brushed. even when it's brand new, the bristles still would come off easily.the good ones normally have white or brownish bristles, and are very smooth, just like hair with lots of conditioner. so sometimes it's wiser to buy more expensive brushes that last a longer time. do not be penny wise pound foolish. lalalaaa.. i couldnt find the other brushes which are slightly inferior in quality, but still better than the china ones. so i just bought 1 made in germany one. at least it satisfies my needs. yup. okay. i'm off to paint! buye.

TheServant

12:52 PM

i finally managed to borrow breakfast at tiffany's from school library! and it's brand new. wonder if anyone ever reads in tp. but this is good! oh well..

goodnight!

TheServant

3:04 PM

yay! i'm quite happy. i got an A for my last minute dorian gray work. it's for creative thinking. you see, i completed the work in 2 hours in one night when it was meant to be a five week assignment. haha. thanks to my good rationale and textures that are super last minute and so fake. some of them are also of no relevance. just simply put there to make the research and development folder look and feel thicker, and hence mean that i'm more hardworking. haha! this is called working smart. to do that, we have to know what the lecturer is looking for. some looking for quality, some look at the effort put in and the amount of thought put into it. some both. you can judge by his or her character. sometimes it mught be difficult. when this occurs, i'd advise you to discuss with your friends to see what they think he or she is looking for and judge accordingly. yup! haha. of course i shouldnt take this for granted all the time. but still, it's good!

today i encountered some people who obviously dont pay attention in class, or are simply inconsiderate. eva and i were in the hypoclear stage of processing our film. basically we had to let water run in the tank for 20 minutes. so during the twenty minutes we decided to help the others who were still unfamiliar. then this girl in green racer back shirt just pulled out the pipe that pours water into our tanks. how stupid can she be man. and she still can say 'awhile only wont die one la'. what a freak she is. if our film dies she better shoot rolls for us. we were super pissed. then she had to refill some chemical into the bottle and asked me if i had a calculator so that she could measure. how brainless. the ratio is 1:4. how difficult can this get? and we only need 20 ounces. dont tell me she has never taken maths. dividing 20 by 5 very hard meh. damn. you see.. i just cant stand such people. arghh.

TheServant

11:57 AM

to mum
i'm really really really very sorry for letting you spend so much money on me just like that, for something so small and so insignificant. i would never do it again.

TheServant

8:39 AM

i'm super seh. went to sarah's house to do some work while watching movie. i reached when she and mel watch kingdom of heaven one third way. so didnt really watch it. then watched zhenqing while i did my brainless colour homework. after finishing my red and blue, i watch the show for a little while more and then i dozed off. hahaa. it was raining outside and was cold. the perfect condition for sleeping. furthermore the couch was quite comfy. so ya. i fell asleep.. soon they got bored with zhenqing so weijin played phantom of the opera. suddenly i beacame awake for awhile when the show started. fell asleep at the one quarter point and the three quarter point. fortunately i was awake during the body of the show and at the end. yayy. the music's so nice. they did good harmonising, especially when christine and the phantom and the phantom and raoul. i think they're both both tenors. christine is definitely a sop1. super high! i'm happy that i finally watched the show, despite falling asleep in some parts. haaha. have been wanting to watch it for a long time. however i think that the feeling would be better if it was watched in a cinema. the dark atmosphere plays a part, and so does the sound effect. anyway i'm happy that i finally watched it after a long wait.. yay! lalalaa.

now i feel like eating pao. cos just now had plain pao with rendang at sarah's house. it was nice. i like plain paos.

i was quite encouraged by what jop said to me on thursday about it. but i guess i should just think and consider it for a little longer. talked to sarah. but we still dunno yet. it takes time. maybe at the end of the year.

okay. i better go. dozing off liao.. *snores*

TheServant

11:53 AM

this entry is dedicated to 5 people whose birthday falls today, the eighth of july. they are: heidi, jingyun, denice, grace ho and marcus. so i would like to wish all of you a very happy birthday!

TheServant

11:42 AM

good morning peeps! rise and shine!
i'm quite proud of myself for accomplishing two things last night. one of them is finishing an A2 drawing, and the other is finish reading a book that i borrowed yesterday.

they following is one of the new ndp songs. it sopunds quite nice, but it's crappy la. happy reading and learning how to count from 1 to 10 in all four languages!

Sing our wishes Counting our wishes with joy
Satu dan dua, tiga, empat, lima, enam
(One and two, three, four, five, six)
tujuh, delapan, sembilan, sepuluh
(seven, eight, nine, ten)

Sing our wishes
Sing our wishes
Counting our wishes with pride
(One-two-three-four-five-six-seven-eight-nine-ten)
This is how we count on our wishes

Selamat pagi apa khabar?(Good morning, How are you?)
Kalai Vanakkam nallama?(Good Morning, How are you?)
zhao an ni hao Good morning, How are you?
(Good morning, How are you?)
this is how we care and share

Expressing greetings for our good friends
Hellos and happy harmony
We learn so much among one another
This is how we care and share

Sing our wishes,
Sing our Wishes
Counting our wishes with joy
Ondru, irendu, muundru, naangu, ainthu, aaru
(One, two, three, four, five, six)
yehzhu, adythu, ettu, ombadu, pattu
(seven, next is eight nine ten)

Sing our wishes, Sing our wishes
Counting our wishes with pride
One and two, three and four, five, six, seven, eight, nine and ten
This is how we count
on our wishes
(La la la la la la La la la la la laLa la la la la la)

TheServant

8:33 PM

yay yay yay!!! i'm so happy. i finally managed to process my roll of film properly. yayy!! and for the first time i printed a contact sheet in half an hour and only used 3 test strips. now i know the importance of metering and making sure the exposre is right. last week i took 7 hours and wasted about half the packet of photographic paper cos my exposures were shitty. yay man. my skills have improved! hahahaa! i'm soooooo happy. i really hate wasting things. during the process of processing film, we had to put the tank under running water for 20 minutes. imagine how much water is wasted! but fortunately all the water supplied to the lab is recycled, and fortunately bedok resevoir is nearby. heh.

this week is a slack week. i mentioned how short my school hours were in my last entry. today i started lesson officially at 3pm and ended at 335. 35 minutes! but i stayed back to complete my work and make some ammendments so that it would have more quality.

i hope either moscow or madrid would win the bid to host the 2012 olympics. the other 3 cities are too commercialised, so i think it'd be a bit boring cos i guess the same popular scences would be shown over and over again. whereas places like moscow and madrid are the less visited places. only maybe madrid was made popular by soccer. but otherwise, i dont think many people on the streets would really know what they are like. ya. so MOSCOW OR MADRID!!!

okay. i'm getting to lazy to type liao. bye!

TheServant

8:54 AM

school has been quite slack these two days. yesterday we started typography class at 9am and officiall ended at 930. today's marketing class start at 12 and ended at 130 for me. but this is because i'm in group on so we got to present first then we leave. so yani eva samantha and i went to the designer pad to eat lunch. i finall got to eat at the malay stall. it was quite yummy. and i was smart enough to ask to auntie to add more rice. cos since the person preparing the food and the person collecting the money are two persons, the money collector wouldn't know that i add rice and would charge me the amount of money as i i didnt add any rice. and i would also be fuller so i wouldnt have to spend money on sweets to eat on the bus. lunch time conversation today was super crappy. har. at 3oclock, yani and i went to level 5 studio for visco. guess what, we ended at 325. all we did was to take attendance, hand in our work and got a briefing for our next assignment by peter sam. how nice. 25 minutes! and you call this a class. grins. today i finally got to buy the developing tank. it's super ex lor. kheng li said it was $20 . the the rest of the people and i bought it at $28. darn. and the ilford photopapers are out of stock. darn it again. they'd only come two weeks later. darn it yet again!

nowadays i seem to keep thinking about national da songs and keep playing them on the piano. think i'm getting excited for our nation's birthday. marya, i love national day too! remember last year's celebration? it was super fun. the whole school went high! and i really mean high. this year i hope we can go back on national day. oh and you were saying about hand signing the pledge. you mean you're going to be in the parade thingy?

This is home truly
where I know I must be
Where my dreams wait for me,
where that river always flows
This is home surely,
as my senses tell me
This is where I won't be alone,
for this is where I know it's home

we are singapore..
sing-ga-pore-ree-eaannss!

SINGAPORE IS THE BEST!!!!!!!!!!!!!

TheServant

9:15 AM

sigh today only managed to buy the film, not the tanks and not the photo paper.
btw jianming, edgar, edgar's bro and a caucacian guy are at my house now. for the first time in my life the females are outnumbered by the males in the house. anyway, i've got to go complete my work dued tomorrow, given two weeks ago. bye. thanks sarah for today.

TheServant

11:45 AM

so what's your problem
why do you always seem to have a problem with me
and me, only
if you have a problem with me just tell me so
what's the use of using words to spite me
just tell me!
why do you always exaggerate matters
dont you know how much it annoys everyone
why do you always pick on my weak points
do you not see yours
at least I do
why do you always jump to conclusions
cant you just listen for a second
maybe you are just blind to some things
why do you get angry
when the instructions you gave were wrong in the first place
i'm not dead yet,
in case you didnt know
i demand answers
sometimes
you dont even do what you say
sometimes
you accuse me of things i didnt do
sometimes
your words hurt
sometimes
you just dont understand
i could i have done it
IT
but i didnt
it's because of all the respect i have for you
it's because of all the things you've done for me
it's because i love you
but i still want answers

TheServant

6:33 AM

today is a totally sucky day. totally.

TheServant

3:02 AM

where's my orange mechanical pencil?
who took it?
will the someone please return it to me?
it's lost
where's my orange mechanical pencil?
who took it?
will the someone please return it to me?
it's lost
where's my orange mechanical pencil?
who took it?
will the someone please return it to me?
it's lost
where's my orange mechanical pencil?
who took it?
will the someone please return it to me?
it's lost

WHERE IS MY ORANGE MECHANICAL PENCIL?

darn it.

TheServant

1:46 PM

it's thursday again and so here i am! today's basic photo was quite interesting, i would say. saw the indentical prints and photokram of other classmates. the comments from khengli were mostly the same. not enough contrast. so means that we've to increase the magenta of the enlarger. fortunately we didnt have to show our contact prints cos mine's superbly dark. my negs were either over or under exposed so it was hard to make prints. at least finally they all turned out alright. yay. today we also got back the photography exhibition report that we had to write. had good feedbacks. so that's a yay again. lalalaaa.

yesterday was a terrible plus horrible day. reached school at around 11 and went to the dark room to print the photos that were to be handed in today. because of my inexperienceness and stupidity, i had to stay in there for 8 hours. i ended up going out at 7pm and reaching home at 815. see how fast time flies when you're in there. actually there was supposed to be colour class at 3 but thankfully it was cancelled. if not for the cancellation, i would be in school till 9 plus. besides the amount of time, and chemicals wasted in there, a lot of photographic paper were also wasted. i stupidly did two contact sheets with exactly the same timing. how shittified and stupid. arrghh. and because of my bad exposures, i had to do many test strips. darn it. the worst part of all was the standing! i stood for eight hours in the dark. furthermore the bus on the way home was crowded so i had to stand again. how sickening can this be man. arghh. sigh. but thankfully it's over. at least after the whole of yesterday, i got more familiarised with the equipments in there and learnt how to adjust to the darkness. so in a way, it's good la.

in about a week and one day, it'd be term break! yayayayayayyaaaay!! haha. but we'll surely have a lot of assignments. like since when was there a school in singapore which never gave homework for the hols. sigh. unfortunately many schools dont understand the meaning of term break. BREAK. B-R-E-A-K. breaks means rest. and rest doesnt mean homework.

anyway, i should stop right now and get on with my drawing fund assignment. better do it nicely cos valentino's super strict although he speaks super softly. but in terms of drawing portraits, no one can beat cao ye's. yes, he's good, and fast. okay. so bye for now!

TheServant

8:21 AM

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