i just realised that me and bro have never taken a pic together like this before. so here's the first! we were too bored after the first dish of the wedding dinner, so we had to resort to this kind of entertainment. hah. hah.

found a song that's very nice. will upload the mp3 someday. here's the fourth stanza. this is to mark my 18th year on earth :)

No guilt in life
No fear in death
This is the power of Christ in me
From life’s first cry to final breath
Jesus commands my destiny
No power of hell
No scheme of man
Can ever pluck me from His hand
‘til He returns or calls me home
Here in the power of Christ I’ll stand



was very pekchek today, due to several reasons. the antagonist and the dunno-what-you-call-it. hmpf. it was even our fault lor.

philip, craig and dean's harmonisation is super nice. they might as well sing a capella!

thirdday's agnus dei is nice. i like how they fit electric guits into old songs. it sounded nice and old and grand, but yet contemporary.

small kiyowo was out today. i'm happy.

no french for 3 weeks. yay.

penang trip is coming up. next wednesday. i'm so not looking forward to the journey there. hmpff. shouldd've decided to go there by air. pay about $100 or less for budget airlines ticket and get there in 45 mins.

blogs are a good source of info. of course you must ownself discern whether to believe what is written or not.

sometimes we should be more sensative in the things we say. we say things that we think it's okay and we think that the person doesnt mind. but the person might think that subconsciously we mean another thing and would be hurt.

i feel bad. i'm sorry, my dear.

happy birthday to me
happy birthday to me
happy birthday to me
happy birthday to me!!!

yesterday, the 27TH OF MAY, was my birthday.

i'm finally 18. this year's the first time i didnt spend my birthday with my family. i thank God that this year, i spent my birthday with a v.v.v.v.v.v.v.v.v.very special group of people - F.O.G. yea! we had our first ever cellgroup 3 days 2 night camp. fri 7pm to sunday lunch time. i had great fun although we only had one week to plan it. thankfully it went well. i spent the first hour i turned 18 marinating chicken wings with sher. hehheh. i wanna thank my cg for singing me happy birthday 4 times on saturday. :):):) one at 0001, one at around 8-9 after breakfast, one during the bbq with the cake and the last one at 1159pm. they like to sing happy birthday. ahah. thanks to weijin for planning the surprise skit thingy after the night games. i was pleasantly surprised. i have awesome friends, shepherds and sheeps.yaye. and i got 2 and a quarter birthday cakes. haha. i love my cg.not cos of what they've done, but cos they're F.O.G. yeap.

i thought today's worship was quite good but a bit short though. i love old songs! i'm now listening to agnus dei for the 14th time. cant help it cos i found it in guide in media player. so it's the only song that can be played now.

okay i'm quite tired and hungry now. i shall write more tomorrow.

yes. i'm back. finally. the past few days were nothing but a blurred mess of events, like how a bullet train whizzes by you. my mind is very tired of thinking of so many things at the same time - going to school, my advertisement assignment concept, where to print it, need to print the calender thingy for yf, count how much the cost will be, do stuff for cg camp, travelling here and there and i dunno what. and now got a new thingy from auntie agnes that i'm supposed to do but i havent told her if i can commit to it or not. i'm supposed to lead a team to do a banner of some sort for the new chapel. i want to do it as much as i dont want to. there're many reasons but i cant state them here. if i were to do it, i've already roughly thought of how to do it. rrggghh. me has to think properly first before me commits myself it not me will regret.

i'm taking a big gamble. cos i'm submitting my work without consulting my lecturer. reason is cos he's so difficult to find. what's the point of e learning when we've to go to school to consult the lecturer! it's the same as just going to to school normally. hmpf.

hmpf. just came back from ahlian aka michelle's wedding. her name is siew lian so i'm not trying to be bad by calling her ahlian. it's at some hotel which is quite not very high class. hmpfff. have quite a lot of complains about it. the food is okay for the kind of hotel, except for the desert which was really quite bleugh. there wasnt a climax in terms of excitement level. if you plot a graph, the line wont be sloping upwards. it'd be more of an undulating one. no mood to drink. only shared wiith my bro 3/4 cup of beer and half glass of beer with 3 other cousins. the song selection was super limited. played the same song at least 5 times. and the sound technicians dont know how to lower the volume of songs gradually instead of just cutting it off. it's very distracting. the wedding photographs were so-so. i'd grade them 60/100. wedding photos are taken once in a lifetime so i dont undestand why they've to go to esplanade and sentosa to shoot. and they're photos that we can take any other day! the colour scheme for the powerpoint slides are bleaughhheeuaarree. the worse is i cant stand the visual effects that are so fake. for example they showed their wedding pics and the added bubbles as visual effects. on another pic they had two lens flares that were bright red and bright green moving around the screen, and the pic showed them against singapore cityscape. hmpff. k la. shouldnt comment further on their wedding. not very nice. anyway, it's their big day so i ought to wish them a blessed and blissful marriage!! smiles.

was just thinking about my wedding plans if i ever get married. ahhahaa. i'd hire some skill person,who happens to be my friend, to be the photographer. and maybe we can go to places less common to take photos. like say the bus stop, or the playground, or we could go to seletar airbase to rent a plane to take photos. my dad has a pilot friend. maybe got some lobang. ahaha. we could also go on a yatch and sail along the straits of johor. the playground shot must look very old school. maybe the wedding dinner could be at botanic gardens. i'll choose a day sometime in december when it's nice and cool and breezy. hopefully it doesnt rain though. then we'll have a nice dinner under the stars. if we dont want to take the risk then we'll have the dinne at some skill and class hotel. like rits or fullerton. but it'll be super ex. just hope people give more angbaos with more money inside. it'll be last time we'll collect angbaos. we could also go to beaufort or shang gri la in sentosa. quite nice place! there'll be songs pleasing to the ears, like josh groban, chapman, instrumentals, some jazz and disney theme songs. the wedding car would be volvo xc90 or bmw x5. duh! i just adore them. :) maybe we'll just go in a scrambler. heehee. and i'll do the powerpoint slides myself!

i should stop dreaming. *slaps myself*.

back to reality. i'm still waiting for peter sam to reply my email regarding the test. like no one understands what he's asking and people give all sorts of answers. sherrie wrote 3/4 paragraphs essay and ron only wrote a one liner answer. there's a big diff okay! the worse thing is that my dad switched off the comp when i havent even submitted the test. well done man. well done. grrr.

FOG celebrated may birthdays today. jenna, carolyn's and mine. and i was the one who reminded sarah to remind grace to get the cake k. yaye :)

I AM VERY DISAPPOINTED TODAY. VERY VERY DISAPPOINTED INDEED.

why can't i ever have a night out enjoying myself with the friends i love without having to have you bombarding me with all sorts of things, finding fault with me for the things i did/didnt do, raking up the past which has nothing to with anything at all when i come back home at night. you dont know how much it just spoils the day which i enjoyed so much. you just made the day so 'unworth it to live through'. i know this sounds very childish, but why can't you all just stop picking on me? why is it always me, me and ME! why do you always have to scold me for the littlest things that i do/didnt do when the rest made graver mistakes and you didnt say anything about it. am i not the one who has done the most for you? if you dont appreciate them, i wonder why i even bothered to do them in the first place. why do you always have to force me to be someone i am not, to be someone i can never be? for that, i want to say that i'm sorry i cant be perfect. why can't you just let me enjoy being who i am? dont you know how unfair it is? surely there must be some justice and equality around here. but unfortunately i'm very sad to say that you just dont get such simple concepts. i can give you thousand and one examples on how you've been unfair to me. you tell me off cos my room is messy when i'm not the only one who uses the damn room. who was there for the rest when you were out enjoying yourself till the wee hours? you tell me off when i was too tired to prepare dinner. and you say that i never lift a finger. sometimes it doesnt hurt by just being a little bit more calculating. and to think that i was always the one you trusted the most. i hate it when you dont bother to find out the whole story and accuse me for things in which i was innocent, and still tell me off for it. why do you always use the hard approach on me? you dont know and never bothered to ask how hurt and discouraged i was when you crushed and threw away my mid year exam result slip in sec 2 just because i failed maths. you never did this to the rest. anyway i managed to do okay for maths in my o levels and i did it all on my own. and that's all that matters. i dont need you. from then, which was like 4/5 years ago, i already thought to myself that if you didnt want to see me around, you can jolly well kick me out. i'll be better off in the playground. it has always been my dream to live alone. in solitude. somewhere you dont have to see me everyday.how nice it would be.

thankfully i've found the Someone who will love me even you and the whole world is against me. the SOMEONE is mighter than you, and definitely fairer than you are. you might not know that Someone yet, but i'm sure one day you will. you might disagree with thatSomeone, but i will still love that Someone with all my heart.