Tuesday, May 09, 2006
I AM VERY DISAPPOINTED TODAY. VERY VERY DISAPPOINTED INDEED.
why can't i ever have a night out enjoying myself with the friends i love without having to have you bombarding me with all sorts of things, finding fault with me for the things i did/didnt do, raking up the past which has nothing to with anything at all when i come back home at night. you dont know how much it just spoils the day which i enjoyed so much. you just made the day so 'unworth it to live through'. i know this sounds very childish, but why can't you all just stop picking on me? why is it always me, me and ME! why do you always have to scold me for the littlest things that i do/didnt do when the rest made graver mistakes and you didnt say anything about it. am i not the one who has done the most for you? if you dont appreciate them, i wonder why i even bothered to do them in the first place. why do you always have to force me to be someone i am not, to be someone i can never be? for that, i want to say that i'm sorry i cant be perfect. why can't you just let me enjoy being who i am? dont you know how unfair it is? surely there must be some justice and equality around here. but unfortunately i'm very sad to say that you just dont get such simple concepts. i can give you thousand and one examples on how you've been unfair to me. you tell me off cos my room is messy when i'm not the only one who uses the damn room. who was there for the rest when you were out enjoying yourself till the wee hours? you tell me off when i was too tired to prepare dinner. and you say that i never lift a finger. sometimes it doesnt hurt by just being a little bit more calculating. and to think that i was always the one you trusted the most. i hate it when you dont bother to find out the whole story and accuse me for things in which i was innocent, and still tell me off for it. why do you always use the hard approach on me? you dont know and never bothered to ask how hurt and discouraged i was when you crushed and threw away my mid year exam result slip in sec 2 just because i failed maths. you never did this to the rest. anyway i managed to do okay for maths in my o levels and i did it all on my own. and that's all that matters. i dont need you. from then, which was like 4/5 years ago, i already thought to myself that if you didnt want to see me around, you can jolly well kick me out. i'll be better off in the playground. it has always been my dream to live alone. in solitude. somewhere you dont have to see me everyday.how nice it would be.
thankfully i've found the Someone who will love me even you and the whole world is against me. the SOMEONE is mighter than you, and definitely fairer than you are. you might not know that Someone yet, but i'm sure one day you will. you might disagree with thatSomeone, but i will still love that Someone with all my heart.
why can't i ever have a night out enjoying myself with the friends i love without having to have you bombarding me with all sorts of things, finding fault with me for the things i did/didnt do, raking up the past which has nothing to with anything at all when i come back home at night. you dont know how much it just spoils the day which i enjoyed so much. you just made the day so 'unworth it to live through'. i know this sounds very childish, but why can't you all just stop picking on me? why is it always me, me and ME! why do you always have to scold me for the littlest things that i do/didnt do when the rest made graver mistakes and you didnt say anything about it. am i not the one who has done the most for you? if you dont appreciate them, i wonder why i even bothered to do them in the first place. why do you always have to force me to be someone i am not, to be someone i can never be? for that, i want to say that i'm sorry i cant be perfect. why can't you just let me enjoy being who i am? dont you know how unfair it is? surely there must be some justice and equality around here. but unfortunately i'm very sad to say that you just dont get such simple concepts. i can give you thousand and one examples on how you've been unfair to me. you tell me off cos my room is messy when i'm not the only one who uses the damn room. who was there for the rest when you were out enjoying yourself till the wee hours? you tell me off when i was too tired to prepare dinner. and you say that i never lift a finger. sometimes it doesnt hurt by just being a little bit more calculating. and to think that i was always the one you trusted the most. i hate it when you dont bother to find out the whole story and accuse me for things in which i was innocent, and still tell me off for it. why do you always use the hard approach on me? you dont know and never bothered to ask how hurt and discouraged i was when you crushed and threw away my mid year exam result slip in sec 2 just because i failed maths. you never did this to the rest. anyway i managed to do okay for maths in my o levels and i did it all on my own. and that's all that matters. i dont need you. from then, which was like 4/5 years ago, i already thought to myself that if you didnt want to see me around, you can jolly well kick me out. i'll be better off in the playground. it has always been my dream to live alone. in solitude. somewhere you dont have to see me everyday.how nice it would be.
thankfully i've found the Someone who will love me even you and the whole world is against me. the SOMEONE is mighter than you, and definitely fairer than you are. you might not know that Someone yet, but i'm sure one day you will. you might disagree with thatSomeone, but i will still love that Someone with all my heart.
TheServant
12:57 AM