Sunday, July 30, 2006
this is a replica of the thing i made on saturday during the spiritual formation retreat. it's supposed to be a tree with colourful branches. it's not as nice as the original cos the red plasticine is super soft and the branches always flop down. ask me if you want to know the rationale of it. took quite long to conceptualise it! anyway, i decided to name it 'The Testimony'.
you want to guess what this is? i'll give you a prize if you guess correctly :) haha!
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i've been having problems breathing these days. sigh. my nose is quite spoil. and i think my windpipe also. during the retreat we were supposed to postrate [how to spell] and whenever i bend down, i cant breathe properly. i can only breathe fairly well when i stand/sit up, or lie down straight. sigh. should be another of my ENT problems again. it's like going on forever, especially my ears and throat. during the retreat, all of a sudden there were ringing and piercing but at the same time slightly muffled sounds in my ears when we were supposed to not talk for 2.5hrs. must be the accessive amount of mucus again. last time the doctor said that there were mucus in my ear canal! so weird. spoil ah!
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thought of an out of point thing. here goes:
louis,
the police,
is,
in his office.
they rhyme! hahahah!
TheServant
11:24 PM
nothing, absolutely nothing, beats eating home cooked food. have been eating out quite a lot lately, due to work and hanging out with people et cetera. i havent been this full and satisfied for a long time, besides fri where we went to taka to yaogui. ate guiness [how to spell] brownie from the brownie factory, together with thai pineapple rice, mango salad and green curry, then proceeded to wisma's food republic for prata and teh tarik. but even so, home cooked food is still the best. and what's more, i dont have to pay for it. haha!
tomorrow's monday again. sigh and yay.
tomorrow's monday again. sigh and yay.
TheServant
8:57 PM
Saturday, July 29, 2006
today has been a meaningful but tiring day. but the meaningfulness makes up for everything. :) i'm too tired to type today. so ask me if you wanna find out. i'll gladly tell you. heh
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some people are really just out to make me angry all the time. but it's okay.. God is watching you. so you better think properly before you do anything else in future.
watch out.
-
whoa i cant believe my mom actually initiated a promise to me that she'll get me the bag that costs $140 something or $170 something, on top of the swensons that we went, just cos she made me wait for her to finish her meeting for another extra hour. it was actually supposed to be one hour but in the end i waited for 2 hrs and 15mins. haha. yay. my d200 is well on its way. :) nxt are birks and a jacket coming right up! oh and maybe a belt and shorts from topshop. so ironic. i'm want to buy bottoms from topshop. hah!
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some people are really just out to make me angry all the time. but it's okay.. God is watching you. so you better think properly before you do anything else in future.
watch out.
-
whoa i cant believe my mom actually initiated a promise to me that she'll get me the bag that costs $140 something or $170 something, on top of the swensons that we went, just cos she made me wait for her to finish her meeting for another extra hour. it was actually supposed to be one hour but in the end i waited for 2 hrs and 15mins. haha. yay. my d200 is well on its way. :) nxt are birks and a jacket coming right up! oh and maybe a belt and shorts from topshop. so ironic. i'm want to buy bottoms from topshop. hah!
TheServant
11:21 PM
Friday, July 28, 2006
TheServant
1:49 PM
the attic cows
it has been a busy week, but it was fun. i'm not particularly happy that it's friday cos sometimes the weekends are busier than weekdays! being busy is good.
gonna look for food. there's a serious food shortage in my house. mommaye you got to buy more food!
TheServant
11:51 AM
Wednesday, July 26, 2006
yay. i've finally found a lecturer who understands the plight of those whose surnames start with the last few letters of the alphabet, like mine. these people always have to wait grueling hours just for their turn, be it for examinations, consultation or whatever that has got to do with the class register. sometimes this pisses me of cos it's so bloody unfair to have to always go through things according to the register. and why does the first name or surname on the register always have t start with A? wont starting with Z be the same? it's always a waste of time when you're allocated timeslots and being the last few on the list, and as i said earlier, you've to wait for a very long time before it's your turn. it's worse if you're being confined in a room with nothing but your identity card for verification, and having to wait and wait and wait. people at the front of the list have more opportunity to use the time more productively whereas those at the back can't, as much as they want to. so this morning, i was more than delighted to find my name in the thursday slot instead of the friday one for consultation with my lecturer. this is because he split the class into half, and for the first time in my life, a lecturer/teacher actually let those on the second half of the list go first. and he was kind enough to tell us the exact time we've to be present, so we can use our time before the consultation more productively. mine says 530 - which means the second last timeslot for the day. i dont blame him, for this is the way the school administration works, by arranging everyone in alphabetical order. at least my lecturer made a fair move by doing so. surely [the real meaning], he knows how we feel, for his surname is Yu, the second last letter of the alphabet.
TheServant
11:23 AM
Tuesday, July 25, 2006
it's been better. met her to talk and share. it was time well spent. gained something much much more important than money: trust. anwei came and we had dinner together. who he really talks a lot, but at least they were meaningful things. i really enjoy talking to adults and listening to their conversations. i mean the 20 somethings and early thirties. it forces me to think and talk about bigger and deeper things, which is good, after having to lower myself to the level of the girls all these months. i like it when i dont understand what the older people are talking about, so that i'll get a chance to ask and of course learn more things. duh. haha. i'll know what i do not know, after i didnt know what i didnt know. so now i know what i know. makes sense? yes it does. and it's important. :) another thing is that we've got to learn to see things differently, not how the world see them, but as what He sees them. yes i know we've heard this many times before. but how much action do we really put into doing it? it doesnt only apply to situations, but also to individuals. sometimes, we, who are in Him, have become to quick to judge people according to worldly standards and we never look at ourselves. we should really be transformed by the renewal of our minds. it forces me to grow up, cos i very much need to, although i wish i could stay my age forever and ever. hehheh. need to talk to more old people and join older cg. the best thing about it is that you feel young. ahahaa. [typed how i think so the sentences may not flow. heh]
today is my third time in plmgs but first time having a class there with angela, e and sher. they were better than i thought they would be, after going through prps and unity. after all, they're girls so naturally they're more skill and well behaved. haha! it's true. at least they know how to sit down and listen, and they're motor skills are not bad. got quite good brush control and can blend colours fairly well. :) met amanda's sis eleanor. and she kept insisting that she saw melissa when the only other person that's in the same church is sher! so weird. hah. i think i saw my niece for half a second before she ran away. and coincidentally, she's called melissa. ahah. i've yet to meet julia in school. so cute. heehee.
today has been a busy day. after pl, we had lunch, went to e's for a while to watch sher scan her ceramics pics, help her do some silly drawings of a cock and a heffalump, and try to troubleshoot the scanner and computer thingy but didnt know how, and finally went to school. i was perfectly on time for school. *claps*. how i wish everyday can be as busy as this. i love being busy throughout the day and feeling tired but satisfied and accomplished at night. i hate days when i stay at home all day. it's so meaningless. rarrr.
note: now is the time to build up my portfolio. it MUST be good.
have been doing silly things these days. i put my gate's remote control in my bag, and when i come home from school, i put my bag on my study chair. after awhile i'll start sitting on my bag. then suddenly the gate the gate will open. and it opened and closed a few times. hahaa. it took me quite long to realise that i was sitting on the remote control. ahaha. how stupid. tralala.
i cut my toe nail a bit too short. today at e's, i accidentally kicked the speaker or cpu which was under the table and was in great pain. how silly.
today i stupidly drank icelemon tea during lunch. it's so not good for how my stomach is right now. sigh!
i've been wondering what to do with my batik dye i had since sec3. if you've ideas, let me know ya! they're quite nice :) i'm in need of white acrylic paints. mine seems to have dried up already cos not much's left.
right. i'm off. gotta eat stuff. stomach doesnt feel good again. i seem to say this everyday. :(
today is my third time in plmgs but first time having a class there with angela, e and sher. they were better than i thought they would be, after going through prps and unity. after all, they're girls so naturally they're more skill and well behaved. haha! it's true. at least they know how to sit down and listen, and they're motor skills are not bad. got quite good brush control and can blend colours fairly well. :) met amanda's sis eleanor. and she kept insisting that she saw melissa when the only other person that's in the same church is sher! so weird. hah. i think i saw my niece for half a second before she ran away. and coincidentally, she's called melissa. ahah. i've yet to meet julia in school. so cute. heehee.
today has been a busy day. after pl, we had lunch, went to e's for a while to watch sher scan her ceramics pics, help her do some silly drawings of a cock and a heffalump, and try to troubleshoot the scanner and computer thingy but didnt know how, and finally went to school. i was perfectly on time for school. *claps*. how i wish everyday can be as busy as this. i love being busy throughout the day and feeling tired but satisfied and accomplished at night. i hate days when i stay at home all day. it's so meaningless. rarrr.
note: now is the time to build up my portfolio. it MUST be good.
have been doing silly things these days. i put my gate's remote control in my bag, and when i come home from school, i put my bag on my study chair. after awhile i'll start sitting on my bag. then suddenly the gate the gate will open. and it opened and closed a few times. hahaa. it took me quite long to realise that i was sitting on the remote control. ahaha. how stupid. tralala.
i cut my toe nail a bit too short. today at e's, i accidentally kicked the speaker or cpu which was under the table and was in great pain. how silly.
today i stupidly drank icelemon tea during lunch. it's so not good for how my stomach is right now. sigh!
i've been wondering what to do with my batik dye i had since sec3. if you've ideas, let me know ya! they're quite nice :) i'm in need of white acrylic paints. mine seems to have dried up already cos not much's left.
right. i'm off. gotta eat stuff. stomach doesnt feel good again. i seem to say this everyday. :(
TheServant
8:24 PM
Sunday, July 23, 2006
the days just keep getting worser and worser. heck if worser isnt a real word. sigh. i dread sundays afternoons more than saturday mornings and early afternoons. i feel so.....rarrrr.. and my stomach doesnt seem to like me anymore. fell asleep for a short while and dreamt of est leong, s and me together at a table after service. i dunno for what reason my cg made those cakes/puffs that they sell in delifrance. then a while later me and someone and sze sze went over to ask her to try them. cos got a few plates, then she use her chopstick to flip the other crossoints onto one plate. then 4 of us just decided to sit down and eat with esther. then she said they tasted like crystal jade. ????? heh so strange.
k i got to go. stomach is killing me. sigh. how bad can this get.
k i got to go. stomach is killing me. sigh. how bad can this get.
TheServant
5:26 PM
Saturday, July 22, 2006
sigh. today has been a so-so day. i dont quite like saturdays, except for cg, that is.
i'm so pekchek. sigh.
no one seems to care. so heck. i shall not care either. sigh.
it just gets more and more irritating. sigh.
my stomach's not getting better. gastricitis seems to be getting worse. gosh. sigh.this is bad.
i want to work more but my school timetable doesnt allow it. sigh. need more cash man.
cant wait for next november's holiday. the bad news is that it's more than one year later. which means my internship is coming soon. rarrr. holiday holiday holiday...
took this shot today after cg. it isnt very nice la. should have taken more building and less trees. but it's my first shot for my national day series that i plan to photograph randomly. managed only one shot cos lilin sher and janet were walking too fast in front of me. hah. had to catch up!
i'm so pekchek. sigh.
no one seems to care. so heck. i shall not care either. sigh.
it just gets more and more irritating. sigh.
my stomach's not getting better. gastricitis seems to be getting worse. gosh. sigh.this is bad.
i want to work more but my school timetable doesnt allow it. sigh. need more cash man.
cant wait for next november's holiday. the bad news is that it's more than one year later. which means my internship is coming soon. rarrr. holiday holiday holiday...
took this shot today after cg. it isnt very nice la. should have taken more building and less trees. but it's my first shot for my national day series that i plan to photograph randomly. managed only one shot cos lilin sher and janet were walking too fast in front of me. hah. had to catch up!
TheServant
11:08 PM
today, for the second night, i beat all the guys who alighted at the same bus stop as me in walking into the estate. haha. yesterday there were 3 and today there were 2. and i managed to walk faster than them. yay! i simply love winning guys in doing things. even absolutely stupid things like this. haha. though this sounds very childish, but heck! as long as i won them. :) hah!
met s and an for dinner today. was quite fun. havent had such conversations for a very very very long time. i love it. can increase my general knowledge. we were discussing about driving and our holiday destination. ahah. i cant wait for it man! rarrr. i also cant wait for our big day to come! not that me and someone else are getting married. the big day is when we buy our cameras. !!!! which means parting with more money. rarrr. but it's a necessity. oh well. oh ya the barley at yakun actually doesnt taste that bad. hurhur.
i've been wanting to write lots of stuff here but i realise i cant and hence i feel quite pekchek about it. hmpf. really have been waiting for quite long already. rarrr. probably next week la. when we meet personally. really quite pekchek. okay.not quite. very.
yay i'm working again next week. it's good. forces me to plan my time properly in the mornings and of course my school work also. i like being busy. it seems to bring more meaning to life than staying at home all day waiting for time to pass before going to school. my work involves art. :) so naturally, it's more meaningful than working in like say, macs. you get to show children that art is actually not difficult at all. it doesnt matter whether you think you have the skills or not, so long as you've the confidence and you're not afraid to draw and paint, and then finally be proud of the end product. art brings joy and colour to the children's life. it definitely beats doing maths or chinese all day long. it's the only period where they're free to talk as they do their work. of course not when the instructor is talking la. it also help them to be more aware of their surroundings. one day they might just forget that leaves are green if all they do is to stare at their worksheets which has only four colours - white for the paper, black for the things printed on it, approx 80% grey if they're using a 2b pencil, and red. more red if they there're more mistakes. okay maybe they wont forget that leaves are green, but they wont realise that they're actually many different tints and shades of green. leaves are not monochromatic. the age of the leaf and time of the day determines what the colour of the leaf is. heh. i didnt really have many art lessons in primary school. cos over at aitong, the school's only interested in getting good results. therefore, art period, which is often taught by chinese teachers, is always used for more chinese lessons so that it can live up to its reputation as a sap school. now, times have changed. schools are engaging external instructors to teach their kids art. not only the children, but also to train the teachers in this aspect. think this a good move by them to promote the arts to children and even in the heartland. i dont quite know what the art syllabus in schools is like right now, or if there's even one. when i was in primary school, we drew stupid things, like chinese new year, or a day at the park, or my favourite cartoon character. i guess there wasnt really a syllabus. we just did whatever the teacher felt like asking us to do. these days there's einstein. the bald guy who hosts the kids central show cow and crayons. yes, he teaches the kids how to draw cute and nice things and even has a magazine. but at the end of the day, all the kids produce similar drawings. sometimes i dont know what's the point. it doesnt encourage the children to imagine, create and explore new ideas. sometimes children are so afraid to deviate(is it correct word and correct spelling?) from the original or make mistakes that they die die also must follow exactly how einstein draws then it'll be correct. this is totally not art at all la, though it involves drawing. hmpf.
right. enough said already. seh already.
yay cg tmr. i'm playing and i'm the chairperson:) yayye.
night lovely people!
met s and an for dinner today. was quite fun. havent had such conversations for a very very very long time. i love it. can increase my general knowledge. we were discussing about driving and our holiday destination. ahah. i cant wait for it man! rarrr. i also cant wait for our big day to come! not that me and someone else are getting married. the big day is when we buy our cameras. !!!! which means parting with more money. rarrr. but it's a necessity. oh well. oh ya the barley at yakun actually doesnt taste that bad. hurhur.
i've been wanting to write lots of stuff here but i realise i cant and hence i feel quite pekchek about it. hmpf. really have been waiting for quite long already. rarrr. probably next week la. when we meet personally. really quite pekchek. okay.not quite. very.
yay i'm working again next week. it's good. forces me to plan my time properly in the mornings and of course my school work also. i like being busy. it seems to bring more meaning to life than staying at home all day waiting for time to pass before going to school. my work involves art. :) so naturally, it's more meaningful than working in like say, macs. you get to show children that art is actually not difficult at all. it doesnt matter whether you think you have the skills or not, so long as you've the confidence and you're not afraid to draw and paint, and then finally be proud of the end product. art brings joy and colour to the children's life. it definitely beats doing maths or chinese all day long. it's the only period where they're free to talk as they do their work. of course not when the instructor is talking la. it also help them to be more aware of their surroundings. one day they might just forget that leaves are green if all they do is to stare at their worksheets which has only four colours - white for the paper, black for the things printed on it, approx 80% grey if they're using a 2b pencil, and red. more red if they there're more mistakes. okay maybe they wont forget that leaves are green, but they wont realise that they're actually many different tints and shades of green. leaves are not monochromatic. the age of the leaf and time of the day determines what the colour of the leaf is. heh. i didnt really have many art lessons in primary school. cos over at aitong, the school's only interested in getting good results. therefore, art period, which is often taught by chinese teachers, is always used for more chinese lessons so that it can live up to its reputation as a sap school. now, times have changed. schools are engaging external instructors to teach their kids art. not only the children, but also to train the teachers in this aspect. think this a good move by them to promote the arts to children and even in the heartland. i dont quite know what the art syllabus in schools is like right now, or if there's even one. when i was in primary school, we drew stupid things, like chinese new year, or a day at the park, or my favourite cartoon character. i guess there wasnt really a syllabus. we just did whatever the teacher felt like asking us to do. these days there's einstein. the bald guy who hosts the kids central show cow and crayons. yes, he teaches the kids how to draw cute and nice things and even has a magazine. but at the end of the day, all the kids produce similar drawings. sometimes i dont know what's the point. it doesnt encourage the children to imagine, create and explore new ideas. sometimes children are so afraid to deviate(is it correct word and correct spelling?) from the original or make mistakes that they die die also must follow exactly how einstein draws then it'll be correct. this is totally not art at all la, though it involves drawing. hmpf.
right. enough said already. seh already.
yay cg tmr. i'm playing and i'm the chairperson:) yayye.
night lovely people!
TheServant
12:50 AM
Friday, July 21, 2006
shall post some pics today. heh.
one of the smileys on my bag. i love retarded looking smileys like this one. gotta get a bag new one soon. heard from s that you can custom make crumplers somewhere in australia and either dorothy or diana's going there. we can get her to help us. wanna get the big bag that can put many things. haha. roughly thought of the design already. but havent gotten the monaye! $$ gotta work more. i'm only left with a measly 2 bucks this week. heh.thanks to printing my stuff and topping up of ez link card.
cookie [which i got for my birthday in sec 3 from marya and heidi] and i! small cookie on my left from grace serena and tammei for my birthday this year. moo on my extreme right from aunty kerine when i was tiny. i think when i was 1. there're so many things on my bed there's hardly enough space for myself. hehheh.
TheServant
11:26 AM
had things to do today. yay. what great timing. :) went to pl to mix paint for the painting class. only managed to mix 21 small containers of paint. then rushed with sher to unity for ceramics class. replaced angela i think, cos she's unwell. gosh she really looked unwell! hope she'll be better soon!! went with s for din. was okay but didnt say what i have been wanting to tell her for a long time. nehmind. othertime la. k i'm gonna go now. tired. took me half an hour to type this paragraph. i dont know if i'm supposed to go to pl tmr. rarrr!! dont like it man! means i cant plan my timeslots tomorrow morning. i'll probably go sch in the morning first la. so that the whole day would be free. yes. good idea. night.
TheServant
12:01 AM
Wednesday, July 19, 2006
a happier post today. met MARYA BAM and HEIDI NWW after school. shall post some pics. heidi having a haircut. :)
heidi looking preetty after her haircut. this is the only picture 3 of us appear together in. haha.
this is how marya looks like whenever there's food in front of her, expecially durian ice kachang. slurp!
me. i seldom appear in photos.so there!
TheServant
8:03 PM
Tuesday, July 18, 2006
i've been so tired lately. i feel so heavily burdened by things which i dont know what. it's stupid and tiring to keep thinking of so many things over and over again but i dont know what i'm thinking of. it's like creating layers and layers of thoughts in photoshop and then finally you click 'merge layers', and they become one, all compressed and stuck together. and suddenly the computer hangs and you cant close the window and you realise that layer is stuck there.
every step i take, it's as though more and more weights are being tied to my feet. like those you use for exercising. ironically, the weights are making me weaker and weaker instead of main purpose which is for strengthening legs. my arms are not spared. they're like being bound with the heavy metal chains use in the the movie the green mile.
i feel giddy. like i'm not here anymore. like i'm just a spirit floating around and no one sees me. it seems so surreal. like i'm in a dream. a very long dream. and i refuse to wake up. but the fact is that i'm in reality. sigh!
today has been bad. i dont ever want to go through today again. today, three things left me discouraged and demoralised despite my efforts. can you imagine? three! what a number. i tell myself, i havent been well. but i cant take it as an excuse. but.. sigh. what's my problem man.
i feel so lousy. i'm not good at anything at all. i'm not cut out for anything at all. i dont speak well. i dont write well. i dont know many things. i dont do maths well. neither am i good at other subjects. i dont draw well. i dont paint well. i dont get good ideas. i dont take photos well. i dont play any instruments well. i'm not good at computers. i dont know java script. i'm not good at html. i dont know programming. i'm not good at softwares. i dont run well. i dont sail well. i dont play ball games well. to sum it all up, i'm just not good at anything. i wonder what i'm going be in future when i'm just so lousy. sigh. sometimes i feel i dont do enough for the girls in my cg as much as i want to. sometimes i dont know how. what am i going to do next time when i eventually become a ....? i feel terrible, and lousy, and stupid.
i need help. i really do.
------
when i think about the heavens, the moon and the stars, i wonder what You ever saw in me.
every step i take, it's as though more and more weights are being tied to my feet. like those you use for exercising. ironically, the weights are making me weaker and weaker instead of main purpose which is for strengthening legs. my arms are not spared. they're like being bound with the heavy metal chains use in the the movie the green mile.
i feel giddy. like i'm not here anymore. like i'm just a spirit floating around and no one sees me. it seems so surreal. like i'm in a dream. a very long dream. and i refuse to wake up. but the fact is that i'm in reality. sigh!
today has been bad. i dont ever want to go through today again. today, three things left me discouraged and demoralised despite my efforts. can you imagine? three! what a number. i tell myself, i havent been well. but i cant take it as an excuse. but.. sigh. what's my problem man.
i feel so lousy. i'm not good at anything at all. i'm not cut out for anything at all. i dont speak well. i dont write well. i dont know many things. i dont do maths well. neither am i good at other subjects. i dont draw well. i dont paint well. i dont get good ideas. i dont take photos well. i dont play any instruments well. i'm not good at computers. i dont know java script. i'm not good at html. i dont know programming. i'm not good at softwares. i dont run well. i dont sail well. i dont play ball games well. to sum it all up, i'm just not good at anything. i wonder what i'm going be in future when i'm just so lousy. sigh. sometimes i feel i dont do enough for the girls in my cg as much as i want to. sometimes i dont know how. what am i going to do next time when i eventually become a ....? i feel terrible, and lousy, and stupid.
i need help. i really do.
------
when i think about the heavens, the moon and the stars, i wonder what You ever saw in me.
TheServant
9:15 PM
i just earned some cash by helping my mom and her business associates do an advertisement for a magazine. yay. she fired her original designer cos of some mistakes and problems that she made and created so she hired me! yes! me! what an honour! someone with zero zilch ling kosong experience in doing such things. the first assignment was kind of easy. just a continuation of what the previous person did. just that i did it better and was more efficient. i think i made 4 mistakes but they were rectified(how to spell) within a day. thankfully she didnt fire me. all i've to do is to scream 'MOM! I'M DONE' from my room across the short staircase and landing to her room where her computer is. and then she'll come scurrying down to have a look. snd i'm supposed to email the jpeg format to her in medium resolution 150 dpi to her so that she can send it to the company to vet. if she hired some outside person, she'll have to wait for a few days before the person sends the final copy via email. and by the way, i hate emails. they're slow and troublesome. i hate it even more when the email fails to get through to the other party or bounces back. it's so sickening sometimes i feel like bashing up the computer.
oh yes. what were we talking about? ah ha! my new job. the pay isnt much. really. really! but it's enough to by me something nice for my birthday which was two months ago. it's extremely high time to by who? yes. buy me a present. it's probably not enough for a bag. see i told you it's not much. but it should be enough for slippers or 1 or 2 new clothes or maybe some more expensive stationary. drawing pens perhaps.
today i did someting stupid. i forgot to creat outlines for my illustrator file, neither did i remember to save the font in my thumb drive or embed it. so it got printed out wrongly. shucks. tmr's the submission at nine. i've got no other choice but to hand it in a little late. got to rush to the library to print the stuff. sigh. i always do stupid things. rarrr.
righto. it's getting late. better get my qt going and sleeeepp. night folks.
oh yes. what were we talking about? ah ha! my new job. the pay isnt much. really. really! but it's enough to by me something nice for my birthday which was two months ago. it's extremely high time to by who? yes. buy me a present. it's probably not enough for a bag. see i told you it's not much. but it should be enough for slippers or 1 or 2 new clothes or maybe some more expensive stationary. drawing pens perhaps.
today i did someting stupid. i forgot to creat outlines for my illustrator file, neither did i remember to save the font in my thumb drive or embed it. so it got printed out wrongly. shucks. tmr's the submission at nine. i've got no other choice but to hand it in a little late. got to rush to the library to print the stuff. sigh. i always do stupid things. rarrr.
righto. it's getting late. better get my qt going and sleeeepp. night folks.
TheServant
12:35 AM
Monday, July 17, 2006
my stomach's bad today. the pain kept coming and going even despite eating lunch at home and pao and milo in school. i think i ate medicine twice. on the way home it was really quite painful i almost didnt make the 370m walk from the bus stop into my house. really. it was that painful and it made me so tired. it's still hurting now. sigh!
thankfully admist the pain and all these nonsense, i still managed to do meaningful things. i dragged myself to brasbasah fter french tutorial to get my guitar a new E string and then walked a very long way to sunshine plaza to get my stuff printed out. and i also managed to read yesterday's segment of the 40dayfast defining moments again in the bus.
recently i've been reflecting on many things that have happened the past few days/week/months. i'd say that it has been quite good, but extremely tiring, both mentally and physically. and this year i havent been in very good health. went to a 24hr clinic twice in just half a year.
okay i got to go now. feels like there're a million snails crawling in my stomach and they're reproducing. eeks. and there a billion butterlies fluttering recklessly in my stomach, banging their heads onto the stomach walls. aww. i feeel sick.
thankfully admist the pain and all these nonsense, i still managed to do meaningful things. i dragged myself to brasbasah fter french tutorial to get my guitar a new E string and then walked a very long way to sunshine plaza to get my stuff printed out. and i also managed to read yesterday's segment of the 40dayfast defining moments again in the bus.
recently i've been reflecting on many things that have happened the past few days/week/months. i'd say that it has been quite good, but extremely tiring, both mentally and physically. and this year i havent been in very good health. went to a 24hr clinic twice in just half a year.
okay i got to go now. feels like there're a million snails crawling in my stomach and they're reproducing. eeks. and there a billion butterlies fluttering recklessly in my stomach, banging their heads onto the stomach walls. aww. i feeel sick.
TheServant
7:03 PM
Sunday, July 16, 2006
you know, it totally sucks being the oldest. you're burdened with so many responsibilities. you're asked to do so many things no matter how stupid or how easy it is. you dont get credit for it if you do them well, but if you didnt do them well enough or forgot to do it due to valid reasons, you get scolded. sometimes you get scolded for not doing anything or for things you didnt do. just because you're in a school which is called a tertiary institute with very different timetable from the normal school timetable, you're said to be very free and lead such a carefree life. therefore you are supposed, or rather expected to do more things which leaves you to do your work at night and hence wake up later in the morning. when this happens, you're said to be lazy and sloppy. you try to explain but they just refuse to listen to you. all they care about is to make phone calls and clinch business deals and fetch the rest from place to place. sometimes in one day you cant and dont get a chance to speak to them a proper sentence. just mere hi-s and byes. you're consistently being asked to find some work cos you're said to be very free. but in fact, the work clashes with the school timetable. and since you cant work, you're said to be wasting your time cos you're supposed to be partially self sufficient at such an age. or ast least earn some cash for yourself. sigh. i hate it. i really like to work la. but i just hate this whole thing. it's so tiring.some people will never understand this.
i've been quite fan these few days. 'm so unsure, scared, confused about so many things that He has been showing me. even word during cell yesterday was about it! i dont believe all these are no coincidences. actually i'm not sure if it's correct to be feeling this way, but i'm made a human. maybe it's just an excuse. maybe it's just that i'm so stubborn i refuse to believe it, and i refuse to do it cos yes, i am afraid. i'm doubtful about so many things. what will people say? will i have the support that i need? and many other what ifs. yesterday it was shared in cg that we're made for greatness. we were asked to define greatness. its very easy for people to say yes we're made for greatness. but to actually do it is so difficult. aiya.. i think the problem ultimately lies in me la. it's just me la. i'm just.. haiya.. whywhywhy!!!!! help. needa talk to someone. hopefully we can meet this week. really need to talk and rearrange things in my brain so that things would be clearer. i'll probably need to get additional shelves for extra storage and for organisational purposes. sigh! someone just knock my head please.
i really want to join an older cg soon. and for ONCE, i get to be in a community where i'm the youngest. isnt it nice!! k maybe i'm just imagining too much. heh. but this is not the main reason why i wanna join an older cg of course. think i said it before. but i want it soon! yes yes yes soon!
i'm quite touched by what tm said in her blog entry. was really encouraging and i'm glad to see that she's such a faithful servant and she knows very clearly what she wants, what's important and what's not. i'm happy for her that she's starting to see things that quite a lot of people her age dont. and most importantly, the fire is burning brigtly :) yep!
'lrightttt. me is got to go now. is must go school tomorrow.
i've been quite fan these few days. 'm so unsure, scared, confused about so many things that He has been showing me. even word during cell yesterday was about it! i dont believe all these are no coincidences. actually i'm not sure if it's correct to be feeling this way, but i'm made a human. maybe it's just an excuse. maybe it's just that i'm so stubborn i refuse to believe it, and i refuse to do it cos yes, i am afraid. i'm doubtful about so many things. what will people say? will i have the support that i need? and many other what ifs. yesterday it was shared in cg that we're made for greatness. we were asked to define greatness. its very easy for people to say yes we're made for greatness. but to actually do it is so difficult. aiya.. i think the problem ultimately lies in me la. it's just me la. i'm just.. haiya.. whywhywhy!!!!! help. needa talk to someone. hopefully we can meet this week. really need to talk and rearrange things in my brain so that things would be clearer. i'll probably need to get additional shelves for extra storage and for organisational purposes. sigh! someone just knock my head please.
i really want to join an older cg soon. and for ONCE, i get to be in a community where i'm the youngest. isnt it nice!! k maybe i'm just imagining too much. heh. but this is not the main reason why i wanna join an older cg of course. think i said it before. but i want it soon! yes yes yes soon!
i'm quite touched by what tm said in her blog entry. was really encouraging and i'm glad to see that she's such a faithful servant and she knows very clearly what she wants, what's important and what's not. i'm happy for her that she's starting to see things that quite a lot of people her age dont. and most importantly, the fire is burning brigtly :) yep!
'lrightttt. me is got to go now. is must go school tomorrow.
TheServant
10:30 PM
Friday, July 14, 2006
did some digital imaging today. kind of silly and not properly done. heh. the stupid toads look out of place though. had an extremely hard time photographing them cos i'm terrified of them and it was dark outside.
TheServant
12:57 AM
Thursday, July 13, 2006
the verdict: intestinal inflammation or gastricitis. last night at 1220 i went to the 24hr clinic at serangoon north to finally see a doc after the pain became unbearable. it's extremely expensive to see a doc at night. but somehow i dont quite trust the gp's verdict. bleh. why do i always get such weird things!
yesterday morning He placed a word in my heart. kind of forgot about it in the afternoon and it came back in the evning again. but i dont quite know what it means!
visions are extremely important. the min doesnt have one, which is probably one of the reasons why it's in the current state. we need a revival. send one!
so could the dream be true? i really need answers.
fires of revival come sweep through our souls
yesterday morning He placed a word in my heart. kind of forgot about it in the afternoon and it came back in the evning again. but i dont quite know what it means!
visions are extremely important. the min doesnt have one, which is probably one of the reasons why it's in the current state. we need a revival. send one!
so could the dream be true? i really need answers.
fires of revival come sweep through our souls
TheServant
6:11 PM
Wednesday, July 12, 2006
TheServant
4:16 PM
Monday, July 10, 2006
today was at ntuc with s and the cashier that served us is called applelynn chan. quite funny right! and not that she's young. i think she's about 50 odd years old. hehh.
contemplating if i should go for trackandfield bbq this sat. if i go, i'll be late and will have to carry my guitar all the way there after cg. but the good thing is that it's near my house. how! should i go or not!
today has been a terrible day. k actually it's not exactly terrible, but had food poisoning and cramps and headache the whole day. sigh. the stomache's better now but the headache doesnt seem to be getting better. in fact it spreaded to other areas of my head. sigh.
today will be the first and last time i eat banmian. s brought me to some place in bishan to eat qiulian banmian. banmian isnt nice at all, as the name suggests. i barely ate one quarter of my noodles. gghhhkk. banmian tastes sour! eek. maybe it's just my appetite cos was sick. i shall give myself another chance to eat banmian again. anyhow, i can never finish the amount of food they serve for $2.50 a bowl. it's like twice what i normally eat.
i must continue my exercising regime. only jogged and did abdominals twice last week. maybe i should go to occ gym someday to do some bicep and tricep muscle toning. yep.
if this headache is still not gone by tomorrow,i'm not going to school. what's the point of enduring 2-3 hours of travelling to school just to feel terrible and end up not getting anything done. and the travelling is horrendous. eeek.
i dunno why some people just dont get the point after many people have been giving them so many hints. how come it never gets into their heads!!!!!! rrgghh.
i think He was speaking through the dream. i want more. i want a confirmation! i want more more more more more more than these!
i musnt be afraid and step out boldly. but it's just so difficult to do so. help!
There is a fountain filled with blood drawn from Emmanuel’s veins;
And sinners plunged beneath that flood lose all their guilty stains.
Lose all their guilty stains, lose all their guilty stains;
And sinners plunged beneath that flood lose all their guilty stains.
contemplating if i should go for trackandfield bbq this sat. if i go, i'll be late and will have to carry my guitar all the way there after cg. but the good thing is that it's near my house. how! should i go or not!
today has been a terrible day. k actually it's not exactly terrible, but had food poisoning and cramps and headache the whole day. sigh. the stomache's better now but the headache doesnt seem to be getting better. in fact it spreaded to other areas of my head. sigh.
today will be the first and last time i eat banmian. s brought me to some place in bishan to eat qiulian banmian. banmian isnt nice at all, as the name suggests. i barely ate one quarter of my noodles. gghhhkk. banmian tastes sour! eek. maybe it's just my appetite cos was sick. i shall give myself another chance to eat banmian again. anyhow, i can never finish the amount of food they serve for $2.50 a bowl. it's like twice what i normally eat.
i must continue my exercising regime. only jogged and did abdominals twice last week. maybe i should go to occ gym someday to do some bicep and tricep muscle toning. yep.
if this headache is still not gone by tomorrow,i'm not going to school. what's the point of enduring 2-3 hours of travelling to school just to feel terrible and end up not getting anything done. and the travelling is horrendous. eeek.
i dunno why some people just dont get the point after many people have been giving them so many hints. how come it never gets into their heads!!!!!! rrgghh.
i think He was speaking through the dream. i want more. i want a confirmation! i want more more more more more more than these!
i musnt be afraid and step out boldly. but it's just so difficult to do so. help!
There is a fountain filled with blood drawn from Emmanuel’s veins;
And sinners plunged beneath that flood lose all their guilty stains.
Lose all their guilty stains, lose all their guilty stains;
And sinners plunged beneath that flood lose all their guilty stains.
TheServant
10:57 PM
Friday, July 07, 2006
haiya. things have been going on and no, they're not good things. and it's not my fault that things happen and yet i've to bear part of the consequence. it's how unfair la. as a result, stupid rules are imposed. rarrr. i'll just have to live with it. hai.. other things are beyond my control and in/of [whatever the preposition is] authority to say anything. okay maybe i can say something, but because i'm me, i dont think anything much will be done, no matter how much i feel about it. sigh..
anyway, i took some nice preeeeetty pictures of the flowers in my garden. so pretty! they look nicer in pictures than in real life.
best pic of the rose series. didnt quite like the others cos i was to scared to bend lower cos of the thorns.
small flowers. kind of blur and dreamy. i like :)
water hycinth flower. cant decide on the best pic for this range of flowers. they're all nice:) nice colours!
best pic of the day! love this pic. lovely colours agains the out of focused leaves. i like!! but i think should have shifted my cam a bit to the right.
of course, in the midst of preettty things, ther'll also my terrible things. like the garden snail. eek! i hate them! this is the final moment of it's life. i killed it soon after snapping this. hmpf! i hate snails!
ohya. look at my new car. hahaha!
anyway, i took some nice preeeeetty pictures of the flowers in my garden. so pretty! they look nicer in pictures than in real life.
best pic of the rose series. didnt quite like the others cos i was to scared to bend lower cos of the thorns.
small flowers. kind of blur and dreamy. i like :)
water hycinth flower. cant decide on the best pic for this range of flowers. they're all nice:) nice colours!
best pic of the day! love this pic. lovely colours agains the out of focused leaves. i like!! but i think should have shifted my cam a bit to the right.
of course, in the midst of preettty things, ther'll also my terrible things. like the garden snail. eek! i hate them! this is the final moment of it's life. i killed it soon after snapping this. hmpf! i hate snails!
ohya. look at my new car. hahaha!
TheServant
11:40 PM
Thursday, July 06, 2006
yay! made another ahma thingy. :) maybe i should print it out and make it into a card for her.
i dunno why i've been getting lots of scandalous emails in my hotmail. its quite irritating. why is it not sent to the junk folder anymore! spoil. they're really scandalous!
it's not about the choices we make
it's not about the songs we sing
it's about honouring your friends before yourself
it's about looking humbly before Him
it's everything about what's going on inside
TheServant
2:13 PM
peggy better approve of my khong guan packaging design when i see her in the morning. i spent so long researching on the product and other packaging ideas. and the stupid khong guan website wasnt of much help. hmpf. i've got 2 nice idea and one idea which is erm.. to put it simply, anyhow wack. hah. i'm glad she approved of my illustration for the editorial. didnt have quite a hard time thinking of the concept so it was not bad. but still deciding if i should do it in pen or vector. not the maths kind of vector but the design kind of vector. heh. i think vectors would be better for an editorial though, like those you see in time mag or newsweek. for khong guan i think i'l draw and then paint. think it'll be quite nice. but the bad thing is that i lent my acrylics to s and heard she locked her room and she'll only be back on sunday evening. ahhh! how! rarrrr. i reallyreally want to paint it. anyway we'll see what peggy says first. she better approve!
you might never read this, but..
my deepest sympathy and condolences.. cheer up. +pat pat+ :)
you might never read this, but..
my deepest sympathy and condolences.. cheer up. +pat pat+ :)
TheServant
12:05 AM
Wednesday, July 05, 2006
what a rarity!
i reached home in record time today. believe it or not, it was just 35 minutes! today a rare day cos i didnt have to wait for any bus at all. took 23 and almost immediately 168 came. and 86 was just behind 168 so i just got off 168 and hoped onto 86. i do hope everyday would be like this! today shows that the total travelling time is actually only about 30 mins, but normally i get home in an hour or so, which means that i spend 45 minutes waiting! clearly a pure waste of time.
the next rarity is that i reached home at 2pm today. i havent been home so early in a long time, even in secondary school. me loves going home early :) coming home early enables me to sleep the whole afternoon and work the whole night. just my kind of life (: honestly, it's not a very goood habit. but i cant help it. cos it's so hot in the afternoons i just cant concentrate on my work and get pissed easily. it's a waste to switch on the aircon in the afternoon cos i'm the only one at home. thus, it's more energy saving if i switch on the fan at full blast and sleep nicely, and then switch on the aircon at night when more people are at home. and since it's generally cooler at night, the aircon doesnt have to work so hard to make the air cool, so it also saves electricity :::)
i just finished my lunch. i'm getting fatter by the moment. lunch consisted of two potatoes, baked, with cheese, real bacon and bacon bits. used two paper towels to dab away the oil from the real bacon. imaging the amount of oil. yuck. what a high carbo, calorie and cholestrol lunch! eek. the sad fact is that nice things are always unhealthy. i'm craving for icecream now! yum. maybe papaya, my backyard grown rambutans and apples would be a better choice!
things to do today:
applied illustration editorial layout
applied illustration packaging for a less than $5 item: i've yet to decide on the product!
things to do the next few days:
do applied illustration editorial
do applied illustration packaging
take pics of lilies and gears for DI
i reached home in record time today. believe it or not, it was just 35 minutes! today a rare day cos i didnt have to wait for any bus at all. took 23 and almost immediately 168 came. and 86 was just behind 168 so i just got off 168 and hoped onto 86. i do hope everyday would be like this! today shows that the total travelling time is actually only about 30 mins, but normally i get home in an hour or so, which means that i spend 45 minutes waiting! clearly a pure waste of time.
the next rarity is that i reached home at 2pm today. i havent been home so early in a long time, even in secondary school. me loves going home early :) coming home early enables me to sleep the whole afternoon and work the whole night. just my kind of life (: honestly, it's not a very goood habit. but i cant help it. cos it's so hot in the afternoons i just cant concentrate on my work and get pissed easily. it's a waste to switch on the aircon in the afternoon cos i'm the only one at home. thus, it's more energy saving if i switch on the fan at full blast and sleep nicely, and then switch on the aircon at night when more people are at home. and since it's generally cooler at night, the aircon doesnt have to work so hard to make the air cool, so it also saves electricity :::)
i just finished my lunch. i'm getting fatter by the moment. lunch consisted of two potatoes, baked, with cheese, real bacon and bacon bits. used two paper towels to dab away the oil from the real bacon. imaging the amount of oil. yuck. what a high carbo, calorie and cholestrol lunch! eek. the sad fact is that nice things are always unhealthy. i'm craving for icecream now! yum. maybe papaya, my backyard grown rambutans and apples would be a better choice!
things to do today:
applied illustration editorial layout
applied illustration packaging for a less than $5 item: i've yet to decide on the product!
things to do the next few days:
do applied illustration editorial
do applied illustration packaging
take pics of lilies and gears for DI
TheServant
2:41 PM
Tuesday, July 04, 2006
i cant believe i'm so blur. things happen right before my very eyes and i dont even know about them. i didnt even get the slightest hint of the things that have been happening. maybe i'm just too ignorant. sometimes being ignorant is good. it prevents you from being too influenced by others. this is the reason why i dont really hang out with the people in my school. i dont participate in their gossiping sessions and only treat them as people whom i've to learn from [in terms of school assignments and work] in this phase of my life. i dont see why i should talk to them when i very well know that they dont do things that are correct. i mean mixing with this kind of people is quite a waste of time. you dont gain anything out of the 'friendship', and you try very hard not to get influenced. so what's the point. sigh. yeah so it's better to stick to the few people whom i know are walking right with Him. in fact there's quite a handful of them. so ya.
TheServant
12:29 AM
Monday, July 03, 2006
i'm in my school's level 6 comp lab waiting for french lecture to start sigh bored i've got half an hour to go before 6 comes then i'll be leaving this place to go to business school for the 1 hour lecture last night i had a dream i dreamt that she called and we talked for 1 min she asked how my gums were and i said they were healing quite well and she said okay bye and we put down the phone on saturday night i had two scary dreams the first one was that amelia died and she was put into a tiny coffin and the funeral was held at my house she was dressed in a brazil kids jersey and there was a white cloth over her face so scary right it seemed to real la i woke up and prayed that this dream would stop it did but i had another dream the second dream was about a woman who gave birth to nine sons at one go and the sons werent normal they each only had four fingers on one of their hands and only one ear the other ear was a stub they all looked exactly alike like theyre clones or something so scarryy eek looks like kayaking is what we are doing this saturday for shepherd and sheep outing hope it will be a great time of fellowship for the sasasasa yay alrights i have got to go for lecture soon bye fellows happy reading this heh au revoir
TheServant
5:17 PM
Sunday, July 02, 2006
i'm quite disappointed in some people. sigh. actually that i dont have high expectations of them but they still didnt meet it. hai..
went to ahma's house today. for the first time in 18 years, my oldest uncle's wife visited my ahma. just imagine!! 18 years of not visiting anyone, even during chinese new year. i dont know what's the reason for her doing so but anyway, thankfully there has been some work done deep in her heart and now she's a much happier person. 18 years means all my life!
my ahma again! eating one of the best fruits ever : the durian! i think ahma is most photographed by me. hehhee.
i didnt take this pic intentionally. was relaxing my arm while eating durian and accidentally pressed the button. this pic shows the people in durian frenzy, with didikorkor in the background getting ready to pry open the king of fruits :)
durian! butnot very well taken cos took macro with one hand and my cousin was holding the shell so very shaky. nevertheless, it's durian! yay!
today:
saw sequin, she hasnt chaged much over the many many years!
had a good time with my sheep. yay.
had cell lunch at macs which was terrible. yuck. all the oil!! eek.
pledged. did it in faith. really.
shepherd and sheeps week this week. hope it goes well!
went to ahma's house today. for the first time in 18 years, my oldest uncle's wife visited my ahma. just imagine!! 18 years of not visiting anyone, even during chinese new year. i dont know what's the reason for her doing so but anyway, thankfully there has been some work done deep in her heart and now she's a much happier person. 18 years means all my life!
my ahma again! eating one of the best fruits ever : the durian! i think ahma is most photographed by me. hehhee.
i didnt take this pic intentionally. was relaxing my arm while eating durian and accidentally pressed the button. this pic shows the people in durian frenzy, with didikorkor in the background getting ready to pry open the king of fruits :)
durian! butnot very well taken cos took macro with one hand and my cousin was holding the shell so very shaky. nevertheless, it's durian! yay!
today:
saw sequin, she hasnt chaged much over the many many years!
had a good time with my sheep. yay.
had cell lunch at macs which was terrible. yuck. all the oil!! eek.
pledged. did it in faith. really.
shepherd and sheeps week this week. hope it goes well!
TheServant
11:26 PM