it's 343am and i'm still sitting heredoing my work. the music on my lappie's playing but i'm not really paying any attention to it. after all it's 343am. yesterday night i barely had 3 hours of sleep and today i dont expect more sleep. i've got an assignment submission in school at 9, and a presentation at 3. and after that, it's all over! but for now, i'm still coming up with my designs.


***

this might sound self centered, sometimes i wish it would be more of me and less of others. sometimes i think i've been giving and giving and giving too much more than i receive. sometimes i feel people take me for granted. the energy bar is flashing and has turned from green to red. i like it when people show appreciation. that way i'll feel that my efforts are not in vain. quite clear what my love language is right. i havent talked to someone about me for quite some time. every conversation i've had these months have been either about them or someone else or something. i wish that someone would take the initiative to get to know me better. if only people cared and showed more love. i wish i didnt feel this way. now i know how you feel, i'm glad to have found a friend like you. i need more me time. i need to love myself more. i dont want to die and regret that i've not loved myself enough.

***

i know it sounds stupid, but i everytime i try to buy something nice for myself, i'd feel guilty and decide against buying it. only the once in a while would i buy a small treat for me and enjoy it all by myself in the bus on the way home. sigh. why am i like that. i really dun understand how people can spend money on things when i'll feel so so so guilty. why do i have to think so hard when i buy things? i can spend 10 minutes deciding on whether to buy the pen or not. sigh. why is so hard to do things?!! i'm frustrated.

***

God, please help me..