ok here's a short one. maybe afterall, all these people going overseas thing has done me more good than anything else. i've realised that i've actually been depending a lot on people i love so much, and it's only when they're gone for weeks at a time that i realise how badly i've been taking these people for granted. they're the people i meet and hang out with so often. they're like always at my convenience. when they're gone is when you realise that you're now all alone to solve your own problems. it's like standing in the middle of an empty street all alone and not know where to go and what to do.

when s left for europe i felt so lonely, so abandoned. there're some things about her that i cant do without. i've become so accustomed to it. now my mom's overseas and i feel a lot worse. i take her too much for granted. really. everyday i expect her to be home to be there for us. i realised how much i need her. i even asked God why must she be posted overseas for work. i thought about how Jesus must have felt when he was on that tree. he took my sins and sorrows and made them his very own. that's how much He loves us. i realised how much more lonely and afraid he must have been. it must be 10 millions times worse than how i've been feeling. and he just cried out to his father in heaven.

through this, God has reminded that all these things are but temporal. all these things will one day fade away. all we need is Him. He demands nothing from us. not grades, not achievements, not how much we tithe, not anything, but 'for the human heart, raw and unconcealed. he demands for it unconditionally... and those who sincerely seek after Him will experience His love'.